Oui, je suis Corvinus
Well, boys, Corvinus is the author of this site, who have created it from the start to the end (with some contributions of other great friends).
He lived a lot and died several
times; he always tried to leave a track on himself, without knowing what
symbol to use, what mark.
The women who crossed his life
like arrows or tides always tear something out of him: he didn't find a
mark for his mobile soul or a soul for a hated and known mark.
In this way the necessity and
sufficiency of his writing born; necessary to stop on paper what was being
torn from him, sufficient to make him feel alive and dead at the same time.
The principal source of inspiration
for his writings have been the women and, much more than in them for themselves,
in the distorted and perfect image that he drew on their mobile and wild
shapes. Different women, girls, lovers, wifes, mothers with their own peculiarities
and seen by the same sensitivity.
From this point of view, love
become a cosmic, absolute, generalized "saudade", without a purpouse, that
brings us always to the war with our limits ; the ones that are imposed
and that we secretely adore.
Women have always been in the
center of his life and their essence, music, has always been the bond almost
concrete between his soul and reality.
It is difficult to talk about
the relation between Corvinus and music. We would say that he loved it,
that he adored it, that he listened to it in a sort of inviolable and holy
meditation. But all the things that we could say would be not appropriate
to describe that relation, impossible between a man and an art, but conceivable
between a man and a woman.
Music was the wife of Corvinus,
his lover, sexy and malicious, but she was also mother, daughter of his
fingers and interpret of his dreams. He found in music a plausible but
not realistic explanation of himself. He saw himself in the music he listened,
listening to himself and to the things that his heart said to answer the
notes' soft affirmations.
He spoke with music, which was
his companion, dumb and silent, but ready to make you understand with a
glance the judgement, the most sincere opinion, just as some women with
particular sensitivity. He found in music that sincerity that he was not
able to demonstrate to himself, a kind of loyalty typical of that forms
of life which live with with man, but that are unable to communicate with
him.
As with women, Corvinus tried
sometimes to dominate music, thinking to be successful, to teach something
to it; some other times he lie in his arms, with the sense fainted. Then
he forgot, tearing his soul from that body full of preoccupations
and responsabilities and he let time flow without holding it, without praying
it to stop, but thanking it to flow between the notes making them living.
And it was in a day of December,
the 28th of December 1997, that Corvinus discovered he thing that would
have changed his life making of him a man much more conscious of himself
and of the things that can be.
He entered that day in the room
of the brother, that room that he knew perfectly, having lived in it for
some years. But in that moment it appeared blurred, while a soft breeze
of warm air tried to push him out of the room. Walking in the dark corridor
he started to perceive the beating of that breeze, the breathe that was
hidden in it, like an elf walking silently in the lair of the dragon which
breathe regularly in its golden sleep.
The air was wet as in certain
days with the fog, but the water that condensed on his skin was warm and
had a strange color.
His brother was on a chair in
the middle of the room, looking the stereo, in the mood of listening to
something, something that Corvinus didn't hear,... but perceive.
He advanced and the air gained
a definite shape and the breeze started to become concrete: it was music.
Yes, music, only music, absolutely music. It was music which breathed on
him, that warmed him and that condensed on his skin. The sensation was
familiar, though. That air was already been breathed, as when we return
in the home where we stayed in the first year of our life and the first
thing we recognize is the air, the odour, the perfume of the walls, of
the floor which sustained and observed us for so many years. He knew that
music, but in that particular place and time, it had a particular tension,
a different language.
Corvinus reached the stereo
and nobody wanted to interrupt the vibrations of the cones of the speakers,
that cold phisical phenomenon able to give us beats of heart and feelings
beyond the most theoretical of physics. He looked at the table... A cyan
cover, a face, a look downward. Was it a mirror? He saw then the letters
in a knew, loved and never understood word: Madredeus.... O Paraìso.
A light, rivers of memories in the time of one second in front of his eyes.
One year of past life. The song was Coisas Pequenas.
Corvinus sat on the first chair
with that astonished look in the trial to interpret the symbolic language
of memories, making it poetry and tracking in it the meaning of his own
soul. That music was different from the abitual. That album, that song
passed thousand times through him like light through a glass: but that
day Corvinus was a diamond and the light of that music couldn't escape
from him. And it has not yet escaped. There he understood the intimate
meaning of that music, of the music created by those people and sang by
that soul. He discovered after a year of listening how that notes could
be the only explanation that he can make of himself.
From then Madredeus and Corvinus
have been the same thing: love.